we’re still fighting it…

“You try and you try and one day you’ll fly away from here…” ~Ben Folds

I often cast a pretty big shadow of doubt over the people around me. It’s not in my nature, it’s just the way I was brought up. I say “brought up” and not “raised” becuase I believe it was my parents’ (all 20 of them) intent to make me “happy”. The problem being that they were never happy and so, though they were smiling at me, they were always miserable in their own lives. It could be some form of chemical thing in them but I’m just betting that they didn’t have it figured out when they thought they did.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m having trouble finding my happiness. I really hope it’s not wrapped up with my past experiences. I wouldn’t want to dismiss happiness while it was sitting on my face.

 I miss everyone and everything.