The smartest woman I know.

My wife has been watching me struggle with my emotions as of late and she’s a trooper that’s for sure. She said something yesterday that really hit home. I was complaining about “corporate speak” the one thing I mastered working at LexisNexis. With all lameasses protecting their own asses and nation building you hear and regurgitate a lot of bullshit. I told my wife that everytime I say something like “Maximize ROI in the YOY incremental for the sales vertical market.” I want to step outside of my body and have my phantom self beat the living tar out of me.

I don’t care about any of that shit, why did it fall out of my mouth.

So, my wife… the smartest person in the world… says: “then keep it real, Leon.”

“What?”

“just keep it real. Say what you’d say to me.”

Now this is an awesome idea on so many levels that I’m surprised I’ve spent this must time carefully fellating every asshat in the corporate world. Let’s take a look at the previous statement kept real:

“Look, man. You said your shit was fucked up. I came in here and worked that shit out. If it doesn’t work then its because you’re a terrible business person. I’m going to play guitar hero.”

Ahh. Sure, that’s a little too far… but just a little. Thanks, honey. I love you.