’nuff said.

Sony Customer Support is like being punched in the balls over and over and over again.

IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO THE DOUCHBAGGERY THAT IS SONY!?!?! The asshats over at Sony Customer Support put me through the mind numbing experience that is their automated Teller: MAX. This is the conversation I had with MAX today because my TV is fucked up again.

MAX: Hi I’m “MAX” I’ll be assisting you today. Are you calling about a product that you own?
Me: Yeah.
MAX: … great. What type of product is it?
Me: Television.
MAX: … I heard “Telephone”. Is that correct?
Me: No.
MAX: … Oh. I’m sorry.
Me: It’s ok.
MAX: … What was that?
Me: Nevermind.
MAX: … OK. What type of product is it?
Me: T.V.
MAX: … Ok Lenses. Got it!
Me: No MAX. No. Not fucking Lenses you robotic double nozzle. It’s nothing like lenses, at all! It’s my TV. I’ve called about it 3 times over the course of 10 months. I’ve sent it to the GOOD-FOR-FUCK-ALL Server center called All Points Video on 3 occasions, have given them hundreds of dollars only to have them bring it back to me, hold it for 6 weeks at a time, NEVER CALL ME BACK WHEN THEY SAY THEY WILL and for what? For it to fucking break again.
MAX: I didn’t understand that. Let me get a representative on the line to help you. (tells me about more SONY products) Long Pause…..
Operator: If you’d like to make a call….

I get it if you think I’m a technically challenged moron. I get that you’re so concerned with your profit margins and that you’re worldwide success is so high that you can afford to neglect little old me, but the fact of the matter is I am tech savy. I have 2 blogs and I’m pissed the fuck off. I’m not buying another SONY TV EVERY. In fact, if someone dies and leaves me a SONY TV, I’m going to bury it with them. If I win a SONY TV I’m going to sell it give it away to someone who likes the feeling of disappointment and despair.

While the picture quality is good, it’s not so good that I want to keep pouring money into this monster. I’m getting a new TV. More crap I don’t fucking need. If anyone wants this thing, I’m selling it cheap. REAL Cheap.

DRM in their own words…

Here. Read this. I’ll wait. I want us to discuss this. Summary:

DRM’s sole purpose is to maximize revenues by minimizing your rights so that they can sell them back to you.

duh. We geeks have known this for a very long time. What kills me is that so many people have been made to live in fear of the very industry that entertains them for years now and for what? Their bottomline. Piracy doesn’t cause it and they admit that. My favorite part of this article is the fact that iTunes is too lax with their DRM. Hilarious. I wouldn’t share my authorizations with anyone, that’s how strict I see this whole iTunes DRM thing.

Here’s what kills me, though. AllofMp3.com. Yup. A legal way of getting the content that you want at a price that is REASONABLE TO THE PRODUCT. I understand that royalities are not being paid properly and that’s bogus for the musicians, I get that. The fact remains, the market will expand and it is going to be the advent of these types of outlets that are going to cause you more harm than ever before.

What happens when the enevitable russian web site, allofHDnonDRMmoviesForADollar.com comes online!? I’ll tell you what happens. All of this noise will serve to distance you from your customer base, leaving little marketshare for yourselves outside of the masses who need user friendly access to kids programming. Ever wonder why Disney is so popular on iTunes? Parents have little patience when Jr. is screaming. Geeks on the other hand, love a bargin. Most WANT to pay for goods, they just hate feeling like someone is treating them like a criminal.  When that happens, they code. The code solutions that decrypt DVDs and rip them to their computers so they can play them on their iPods. Because they own it. It’s their right. When you tell thim something stupid, like the item that they paid for is NOT their own…it WILL find a way out to the masses. It’s a vicious cycle. I would say DRM supports piracy by being so arrogant and brazen. Does it make it right? Hell no. Does it stop it? Hell fuckin’ no.

So what’s the solution? Be for real. MPAA, RIAA, do you guys want to make more money than you ever had in your ENTIRE lifetime? Drop DRM and set up your own version of allofmp3.com; one that has movies and music. The rediculously low price point will encourage THRONGS of users to download at will. The low price point will effectively kill the desire to pirate and the lack of DRM will empower the connection between you and your customer base. I promise you, you will MAKE MORE MONEY. Stop nickel and diming users in the wrong place. Nickel and dime your product and watch your sales SOAR. You have it at your fingertips to solve this entire problem and yet hubris and stale business models will be your undoing. Sad really. Unfortunate for everyone.

iPhone owns.

If I had the cash, I’d easily pay top dollar for this thing. It is the real deal.

My box in a box…

brilliant….

Why Apple “switch” stories are so compelling…

This is not a flame bait article. It’s just a means from which to understand why so many people are writing about their “switch” from Windows XP to Mac. I’m not getting into Linux or the browser wars or any of that crap. This is a quick version of why we constantly have to wade throw a mountain of flamewar bullshit when on Digg or any other Tech site for that matter.

The switching of users from XP to Mac OS X has nothing to do with the hardcore user. It has nothing at all to do with the geek who’s built a custom water cooling system so that he can overclock his imported GPU to play Doom at 120 Frames per second. No, those people who fight back and forth over XP vs. OS X vs. Linux are hardcore users and they are not people who are the target audience for “switching”.

The truth in the switch ad campaigns and why they speak to so many people is because they are meant to break a long running myth. A myth so ingrained in every man woman and child since 1998 that it’s damn near impossible to consider a world without it… I’m talking about Windows. The Microsoft sales force has done so well as executing its brand strategy that most people honestly believe that if they didn’t have their Windows XP system they’d never be able to check their email.

When Apple is talking about spyware and viruses they’re not talking to you, P.Q Dorkalister, they are talking to your friends who like the internet but don’t have a degree in Computer Science. When I switched, I was not surprised that I was able to use the Mac, I was SURPRISED that it didn’t take 10 years to boot up. When I installed and uninstalled applications it didn’t force a 6 year reboot. When I searched for documents using the built in search that came with my computer it took less than a second to find what I was looking for. It’s not that it’s hype, it’s an alternative that many people just don’t know exists. It’s difficult to explain an experience and that’s what Apple is trying to get across and why so many people are in love with their Macs.

If you had nothing to drink but salt water (…you’d die. but go with me.) and you drank it every day for years and someone said, hey you know, there’s some place where they have what they are calling “fresh water” you may first say… “you mean, water without salt? That’s crazy.” Then you learn that the “fresh water” really does exist. “Well, I mean, salt water is not that bad, right? I’ve been drinking it this long. It’ll be fine.” Then you pass out again from the dehydration and say “that’s it, I’m going to at least try this fresh water”.

It’s at that moment when you say to yourself, “wow. I mean, it’s water, the same water I’ve been drinking for years but… but… it actually tastes good! I mean, I really like this water!” then you call your friends “…No, Bill, it’s water… only it’s fresh water! You’ve got to try it!”

It’s not the same thing of course, but you get my point. The guy who built his own custom desalination plant to filter the salt out of the water to produce a cleaner water than the fresh guy is Linux or the “PC-Gamer” and they will NEVER be satisfied with “fresh water” nor should they be. But for the rest of us, who as daily XP users just want to enjoy sitting at our computers again, I can only say there is fresh water out there. Just make the switch and enjoy.

New Year Resolutions

Ok, everyone is doing it so I thought that I’d toss my resolutions up for the world to see.

1. No more flame wars.

Nope. I refuse to engage in one more stupid Mac vs. Windows vs. Linux debate. They are baseless stupid conversations that amount to absolutely nothing. Here’s a tip: If you like Windows then use it. If you’re a Mac fanboy then great, the Mac is more afordable than ever and if you’re a Linux user more power to you. I just don’t care. The reason there are so many choices out there is because different people like different things. Find what you like and enjoy. That is my final comment on the topic.

2. Read more… comic books.

It’s been too long since I’ve had a monthly comic book habit and I miss it. I’m going to look for some good books and get back into it. If anyone has any recomendations, I’d love to hear them.

3. Lose more weight.

Children + Programming Career = fat. It’s time to lose it. I’ve already lost 30 pounds and I look to lose another 30 this year. It will be tough but I know that I can do it with a little time.

4. Plan for the future.

I’ve been living check to check and just making ends meet for a long time now. It’s time to change that and be more forward thinking with my finances.

5. Bitch less.

I did alot of complaining in 2006. It seemed that nothing was good enough for me. Life was moving too fast and I did nothing to help slow it down through enrichment. I plan on never wasting another day in my life. My daughters don’t so I should learn from their example and do the same.

6. Learn Python.

My love for Ruby is strong. I’d like to expand my horizon to Python seeing as so many people love it. It might be a nice addition to my growing library of dynamic language options.

7. Stop taking everything so seriously

My stomach blew up in 2006. That’s not happening again. I’m simply not going to take everything so personally. If work goes poorly, it goes poorly. I’m not going to get another hole in my stomach over anything that is not life or death.

8. Make it to 2008.

Finally, my new resolution. I’m going to start a tradition of resolving to make it to the next year no matter what.

Why is the Saddam Video so popular?

Yes, I’m aware that many people on a deeply pscychological level need to feel like as if they are getting up close and personal to death and that images of dead people help achieve that but c’mon. Really? Do we really need to see this? Does a cell phone video (I’ve not seen it, btw) of someone’s death really make you feel better? I guess I’m just not wired that way. I’m pretty glad that a mass-murdering fuckhead (as Eddie Izzard would say) is out of the picture, to be sure, I just am not one of the people who needs to see it for myself over and over again.

I’m not really big into violence, which as a boy, seems to be a bad thing but I’m tired of apologizing for it. You want to know what I did on New Year’s Eve? I watched “When Harry Met Sally” followed by “Bridget Jones’ Diary”. Yup. that’s right. That’s my excitement for the new year. I saw previews for things like Black Christmas and was totally not interested. You know, there was a time that I loved horror movies and the like but now, the older I get, as I raise a legion of young ones, I just can’t get into this crap anymore. I guess with the seriousness of life, how difficult it can be, I just want to laugh. And if I want to see some action I want it to be actual action, hero story type stuff. Explosions where no one gets hurt, Hollywood style. Someone dies but then is on Letterman talking about it. Watching someone die for real? Not for me.

The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie

so this is the new year.
and i don’t feel any different.
the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

so this is the new year
and I have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions

so everybody put your best suit or dress on
let’s make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
as thirty dialogues bleed into one

i wish the world was flat like the old days
then i could travel just by folding a map
no more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
there’d be no distance that can hold us back.

there’d be no distance that could hold us back

Please, one more year, Mr. Farve

Ok, so I just got finished watching the Green Bay – Chicago game. I know that Chicago was playing half ass but that doesn’t change the fact that Green Bay has seen a lot of improvement over the course of this season and with all the cash they have going into the off season I have one request:

Brett Farve. Please. Please, please do not leave the game of Football yet. Listen to Brian Urlacher who as you embraced him on the field said “See you next year”. I know that everyone wants you to go out with the glory of the 90’s when you got those Super Bowl rings and I don’t know that it’s every going to happen in Green Bay but I would say, you’ve finally got the trust and function of that young offensive line and with a couple more receivers, and a maybe a tight end, you can at least go for some of the gold that you’ve already achieved in your amazing career.

Maybe, for me, it’s just that I remember seeing Brett take the field in High School and College and now has a father myself. He’s the kind of man that every man wants to be, living the life to the fullest giving 100 percent to the game he loves and the life he wants to live. If that is not something to be admired in this world, then frankly, I don’t know what is.

Brett… I know you know these things but I want to remind you of your legacy. If it ends today, this is what you have given to football…

His record as a leader consists of 10 playoff berths, including a club-record six in a row (1993-98), three straight NFC Central Division crowns (1995-97), three NFC North Division titles in a row (2002-04), three consecutive NFC Championship Games (1995, 1996, 1997) and back-to-back Super Bowl appearances, including a 35-21 victory over New England in Super Bowl XXXI, returning the Lombardi Trophy to Green Bay for the first time in 29 years

I know that you must ache on Monday. I know that it must be a terrible strain on your family and friends but it would be a true loss to miss you on Sundays. If tonight was the last time I’ll ever see that trademark playcalling, competitive attitude and rocket arm then it would have been a fine moment in my life to have watched you for these 16 seasons but if you’ve got it left in you to do it again I would certainly love to see what you do with 17.

You’re a class act Brett Farve. You’re a shoe in for the Hall of Fame and more importantly as a symbol for all of us, even those who aren’t Packers fans, of what it means to be great. Thanks Brett for a great season and I truly hope to see you next year.